Anti-Sonic Colors Stamp

Also known as the Sonic game I hate but everyone else likes. It's like people worship this game as God like how all those Classic Sonic Fanbrats worship the first Sonic game as God, to me Sonic Colors was crap. So I'm gonna explain why I didn't like the game before I'm murdered by a bunch of sensitive fanbrats who are too blind to read descriptions.

The story was mediocre at it's finest. Robotnik finally achieves his plans in making an amusement park, which was the stupidest idea in the first place. "Oh hey, I'm gonna build an amusement park because I'm evil that way, soon I shall have PRRRROFIT!" So Sonic and Tails thinks Robotnik is behind all of this which is pretty obvious and after that, it's nothing but poor writing. There's also something about some device called the Hyper Go-on thingy that sounds interesting but I barely remember any of it because of all the shitty ass dialogue that I have to sit through. The story is about as dried up as the Gobi Desert. They demonstrate the Hyper Go-on by controlling Tails mind to attack sonic, which lasts about 10 seconds. After one of it's power supplies was destroyed, that was it for the Hyper Go-on. They could've done more with it like having the system achieve full power and brainwashing Sonic's Friends in which he would have to battle them and find ways to destroy the source, that would've been more interesting. But nope, they decided to not go down the successful route because SEGA is too afraid to take chances since Sonic is they're only life support since they've abandoned every franchise they've made that could've kept them in proper business if it wasn't for their fetish of poor marketing on any SEGA Games that doesn't have Sonic in it. There's not much to talk about the DS Version besides the fact that there's a different Final Boss, Super Sonic, and more characters that are just tacked on and completely pointless. They're just there to show off the new voices and do nothing for the story, especially when Rouge is in there cause she's no longer a developed character, she's just there for the fan service.

As I've said a few times, the writing in this game is pure torture. I really had a hard time sitting through the cutscenes and the dialogue. The voices are good and okay, even though Amy's New voice is the only one I can't stand, but hearing them spew out dialogue in the game is just horrendous. The writing was done by the same people who did Happy Tree Friends, you know that show about cute little animals getting into Violent situations? Well obviously they couldn't do that in the game so they really toned down the writing and came out with something that would show up in an old cheesy 1980's Super Hero Comic. There's scenes like Sonic talking to that Giant Space ship before he battles it, I did not laugh at all when most of the time he's just grabbing the camera and saying, "Hey I'm being funny, LAUGH YOU IDIOTS I'M BEING FUNNY!!!!!" I'm just sitting there as if all of my brain cells are dyeing out one by one. This is about as entertaining as Sonic talking to a Stump. Then there's the scene where Sonic talks to Robotnik before the final boss battle, that scene alone was trying way to hard to be funny, especially when Robotnik is becoming a very weak villain in these recent games. I even questioned about the Egg Pawns coming back. In Sonic Unleashed he had the Egg Fighters which were more advanced and an upgrade to the egg Pawns. And in Colors, he goes back to the frikin egg pawns, and he calls himself a scientist with an IQ of 300. Commander Keen and Mortimer McMire had a more higher IQ then him, and they were frikin kids! And this is why I prefer the Archie Sonic counterpart of Robotnik. In fact, every cutscene in this game tries to hard to be funny, the only one that I laughed at was when Cubot got hit by the chair, other then that, I felt dead inside watching the rest of the cutscenes. The only one that was actually good was when Sonic and Tails found the place where all of the wisps are being imprisoned. No overused jokes, now acting like an asshole, just proper dialogue. MORE OF THAT PLEASE! Now some people are saying that they are trying to be like Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog and how cheesy the writing was in that show, well there tends to be a difference here. AOSTH was released back in 1993, when it was common and actually worked for it's time. Sonic Colors was released in 2010, nobody does that anymore. The writing itself just feels so out dated and just makes my ears bleed, as if I'm watching a crummy teenage sitcom off of Disney Channel.

Now I know Story isn't everything in a Sonic Game, there's still Gameplay. But even the gameplay in this game is a train-wreck. Annoying and repetitive which is the best way to describe it. The game is supposed to be, "2D and 3D mixed together" but throughout the entire game your forced to go 2D all the way and there's barely any 3D stuff in it. I wouldn't mind if it just happened a few times, but here, your forced to go 2D in every frikin stage. And it really begs the question on why not just make the entire game 2D instead of having these little 3D bits that are nothing more but cock teases? But hey, this is SEGA and as you know, they never explain a damn thing. Obviously SEGA has no idea what kind of game they were making, they were trying so hard to make the Classic fanbrats shut up, Going 2D all the way and even adding in some of the old cheap Badniks of the past couldn't keep them quite. There was even this one time when I got stuck on Planet Wisp and the Aquarium level where I kept dyeing from trying to jump over a huge gap or to run away from a giant robot. It tells me to press a button and so I did, and I kept dyeing. Then I found out you have to either hold it down or keep pressing it, which worked. I'm sure they already explained this stuff in the first few levels, but after sitting through the out of date writing which was making me dumber, I barely remembered which button does what. This game is like Avatar, Avatar had a predictable storyline, boring characters, and it's nothing but eye candy with it's overused special effects and CGI. Sonic Colors has awful writing, unbalanced gameplay and it's also nothing but eye candy with it's pretty graphics.

The only thing I liked about this game was the Wisps and the Music. The wisps had fun special abilities while the Music was very good. But that's all I can think of for anything I liked about this Game. Sonic Colors is overrated. The music is good, the gameplay is unbalanced, the writing is garbage, and everything else falls flat entirely. Probably one of the worst Sonic Games I've ever played. I've played a good amount of Sonic games from the old ones to Sonic adventure and the current ones, and this one tried way to hard to please a section of the fanbase that'll never shut up. I'd had more fun playing Sonic Unleashed then play Colors because Unleashed was actually good, I'd rather torture myself with Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly then to torture myself rather then torture myself with the god awful writing in colors, I'd rather suffer through playing Crash Boom Bang! again then to suffer Colors unbalanced gameplay. The only people I know of that didn't like Colors either is Roger Van Der Wiede and a few of my friends. It seems like me and Roger sort of share the same opinions with Colors as I enjoy listening to him tear Sonic Colors apart in his Dissecting Sonic series, even though he'll have to call it quits with the more recent episodes. But yeah, Sonic Colors wasn't what I was expecting and it's not for me. I've beaten it once and I'll probably never play it again.

Special Thanks to ApocolipticFaint for the base stamp